Mother Dear

     It’s been proven that I’ve embarrassed myself plenty of times. I guess that just goes to reason because I’m blonde (at heart). A whole new dimension is added, however, when other people embarrass me. My mother is one of those people.

     Pop, Mom, and I stopped at a rest stop on my way to take my cosmetology boards in Grand Rapids, and I walked into the restroom first. I got into my stall and I heard someone else rustling about. It’s always good to be careful what you say in restrooms before you know who is there listening. At least that’s what I think.

     Mom walked in and said rather loudly, “Evangeline, do you need any hand sanitizer to wipe off the toilet seat?”

     I inwardly groaned. The unknown person just found out we were a family of fruitcakes. Cover blown.

    “No,” I muttered, trying to not make the situation any worse. Mom helped out with that.

     “Well, our society is so promiscuous that I don’t trust any toilet seat,” she said with conviction.

     That was it. I was definitely not coming out of my stall until the other person was gone. They couldn’t see me. They couldn’t know I existed.

     So I waited. I made sure they were gone, and then I came out and washed my hands. Mom came out as I was drying them.

     “Mom, there was another person in here!” I exclaimed, thinking she would feel as sheepish and embarrassed as I had.

     Mom shrugged. “I don’t care. It’s true.”

     So much for scolding her. (Somehow that doesn't seem to work on parents.) We talked a little longer about the rather comical situation, and then Mom left.

     As I was finishing drying my hands, I heard rustling. Someone else had been in the bathroom the entire time listening to the whole thing, unknown to my mom or myself!

     I left as quickly as possible, trying to gather any shreds of dignity that remained. (There probably weren’t enough shreds to make a decent pot holder.)

     The moral of the story is try to stay away from public restrooms at all costs, and do NOT take your mother unless you really do want to use hand sanitizer on your toilet seat.

     Love you, Mom!