The Proposal

I’ve had several requests for my proposal story, so here it is. J

    My proposal happened one night when I was working at the hospital. (Of course, the hospital is a highly romantic atmosphere.) Anyway, I needed to go into a patient’s room to have him sign paperwork, and a nurse and unit secretary warned me to duck because he might take a swing at me.

     “You better just not go in there,” the nurse finally decided after seeing my horrified expression. (I actually wasn’t horrified, it just sounds better to put that in there.)

     I went back to the business office and tried to get a family member of the patient to give consent over the phone, but they refused to do it. Arrrgh. Now, I really had to go in there. Well, if I died I would go to heaven, so the worst thing wasn’t really that bad. Heaven was gonna be great.

     I tried to get in the room several times, but nurses were always in there, and I didn’t want to disrupt seeing as how it was a rather delicate situation.

     Finally, I got in there, and asked my questions while trying to be as nice and nonthreatening as possible. I didn’t have to work too hard at that one because a 5’1” blonde woman who smiles a lot doesn’t tend to look that threatening anyway.

     I got back to my desk and realized that I forgot to have the patient sign the last paper. It’s nothing unusual for me to go back to the same patient a couple of times because I forget stuff, but I didn’t really want to see this particular patient again.

    I literally dragged my feet all the way back to his room. In fact, one of the nurses asked, “Why are you dragging your feet like that?” Just kidding! I only figuratively dragged my feet and no one said anything.

    Anyways, I don’t remember if it was before or after I tried to get a verbal signature (the events of that night are still hazy in my mind), but the patient turned to me and asked, “Will you marry me?”

     He’s not what I would have considered marriage material, but I couldn’t exactly tell him that because I didn’t want to upset him. I mean, a refusal to a question like that was no small matter, and this patient was liable to do anything.

     I smiled nicely. “Not today,” I said.

     “Tomorrow then?”

     This guy wouldn’t quit!

     If I said, “Not tomorrow,” we could keep going on like that and never stop, so I sort of laughed it off and made a hasty exit, leaving my heartsick suitor behind me.

     The moral of the story is never forget to have a patient sign a paper, and always remember that someone will marry you no matter how rotten you think you are. J

                                                                                The End

 

We Have a Newborn

    

     As I’ve mentioned before, I work in admissions at our local hospital, and for some reason, blonde moments abound there.

     When I was training, the unit secretary from OB (obstetrics) called down and said. “We have a newborn.” (Or something to that affect.)

     Not knowing that I was supposed to take down the information to register the new baby, I figured congratulations were in order.

     “Great!”  I said.

     She and the nurses probably laughed about that one for a week.

 

     OB must wonder sometimes about the ditsy girl in the business office because I’ve had more than just one blonde moment with that department. This time, I was not in training, but the extension that called down threw me off because I didn’t recognize it at first. I thought it was ICU.

     “We had a delivery,” the woman on the other end began.

     I immediately thought of the emails we had been receiving about what to do when instruments were delivered to the hospital. I was pretty sure we were supposed to call somebody.

     “I had a note here,” the woman continued, “That the time was 13:43, but it’s supposed to be 13:46. I just wondered if you could check that and make sure the registration is correct.”

     Now, I was thoroughly confused. “What kind of delivery?” I asked.

     “A newborn.”

      Right.