Day 5 and 6

Day 5:

Felt awful in the morning, but once I was at work, I had plenty of energy and I was effectively able to keep distracted as I did hair and nails for my clients.

Day 6:

Last night I dreamed of those small, buttery Ritz cracker sandwiches with that orange, tangy, artificial cheese spread in the middle. Oh man, I love those things

The Cleanse

Once again, I have taken it upon myself to do a ten day cleanse called the Master Cleanse. It involves not eating anything for ten days, drinking only a lemonade mixture, and hoping to stay alive in those ten days so you can finish your blog post about it.

It's really not that bad if you don't mind being hungry 24/7, and it does have its perks. Perks like losing a pound a day, getting your digestive system cleaned out, healing all the health problems you ever had, and giving you super human strength and intelligence. Just kidding! The last two aren't exactly true, but they sounded good.

Mom, brave woman that she is, has agreed to go on the cleanse with me to help me out for moral support. She's doing it for five days. I figure if I don't have a handle on it after five days, then I best be quitting, too.

Day 1:

I did really well as I started out my day. Drank the lemonade drinks, went to work, etc. It was a good day. Then, 11:00 am rolled around. HUNGRY! More lemonade. 12:00 pm rolled around. HUNGRY! 1:00 pm rolls around...do I need to keep this up?

I must say, I did have lots of energy. What did I do with all that energy? I did what mostly any woman would do—I worked and worked and got as much stuff done as I could before it gave out. That's what I did.

Day 2:

I worked and then took a three hour nap 'cause I was pooped.

Day 3:

This day was a bit crazy. I did four updos at work, went to Defiance to watch a softball game which I was too late for, and then went to a dance recital. I was really exhausted when the day was over, but being busy helped keep my mind off my troubles, such as acute hunger and weakness. Chugging lemonade drinks whenever I felt the need.

Day 4:

Exhaustion seems to be a running theme because that is what I was today. A nap after church, another lemonade drink and I'm raring to go. I have to say that I will be very leery of a certain kind of herbal tea from now on.

Sweet Pepper

Ahhh, dear Blond Blog, how I’ve missed you! You haven’t been far from my mind, I assure you, but I finally am making time to spend with you. Please don’t take this personally, but I’ve had other things I’ve been doing. However, I think some quality time tonight might just be in order. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, and I’m listening to the only country song I listen to, I think I can proceed.

I must say, I’ve had some blond moments since I last wrote. Which one to write about? Perhaps my trip to Detroit airport where I embarrassed myself at the paid parking place? What about how I singlehandedly replaced the dome light in my car? What about the best purchase of my life and how the guy at Menards and a random truck driver had to help me? Maybe the time I tried to portage over a log jam while kayaking and lost my paddle instead? (It is REALLY hard to paddle with a stick. Just sayin’)

Hmm, maybe I’ll talk about the best purchase of my life.

So my dear and loyal friend, Lynell, and I were on our way to Defiance to buy a kayak. Yes, I just said a kayak. After renting a kayak in Indy a couple of years ago and having a hi ho time, I’ve never been the same since. I’ve thought of buying one off and on, and this spring, I decided that this was the season to buy my very own kayak. My sister-in-law found an ad for a really good deal for them at Menards, so naturally, Lynell and I were en route to Defiance and the closest Menards.

I was so excited I told Lynell that this was the happiest day of my life.

“You mean besides the day when you get married,” Lynell clarified.

I thought a minute. “Nope. This is the best day of my life,” I answered.

“Wow. I’m really beginning to see the depth of your excitement,” Lynell replied.

Finally, someone got it.

A rather standoffish guy helped us buy the kayak and some ratchet straps to secure it on Sweet Char, and then I had to pull around back to get the kayak. Lynell and I found the kayaks and Lynell thought I should go for the second one because the top one was probably faded.

Really, Lynell? I’m going to go hard core kayaking and you’re concerned I might have a slightly faded kayak? I don’t think you’re grasping the situation.

We pulled the kayak off the rack and stared at the ratchet straps.

They were secured in the case with wire twisties and I had just cut my nails, so there was no way I could unwind them. Thankfully, a Menards guy came up to help us and had a wire cutter on his belt. He undid the wires and I got the ratchet straps out.

Apparently, Menards has a rule that they’re employees can’t help the customers secure large items on their vehicles because if it falls off, then they don’t want to be held liable. I guess they hadn’t figured on me.

The Menards guy let me fumble with the ratchet straps for about two seconds and decided not to listen to that rule.

“You can tell us how to do it, so you don’t get in trouble,” I said, but I guess he figured he might as well go all the way if he was going to break the rules anyway.

He wasn’t particularly fast at securing the straps and so a truck driver who had either been loading or unloading something came over to help.

“I do this for a living,” he said confidently.

That was good to hear, but when he didn’t know how to initially thread the strap through the ratchet, I began to have my doubts.

“My ratchets aren’t like this,” he said.

Uh oh.

Despite my justified misgivings, he and the Menards guy got my new kayak, affectionately dubbed Sweet Pepper, secured on the top of Sweet Char, my car. After eating out and shopping, which is what naturally follows kayak purchasing, Lynell and I headed to church and then I went home.

The next day, Pop got Sweet Pepper down for me, and low and behold, there was a big old crack on the back. Ahh! I was so ticked. Mostly because Lynell was right, and I should have gotten the one on the bottom. Just kidding! I was mostly ticked because I had to go back to Defiance that night. However, Lynell was still right, and I’m pretty sure she enjoyed that fact immensely.

Oh well. I now have a fully functional kayak, and I kept the same name. Lynell has a kayak named Pongo and we’ve already had an extensive adventure together. Just think. Summer is only beginning.